Life will find a way
by MissJaneHolmes
Summary: Set after the end of Me2, contains minor spoilers for ME2 and 3. Shepard is arrested and forced to await trial for ar crimes. Even with the person she loves on the other side of the galaxy and the impending Reaper threat - Life will find a way.
1. Bad News

**I just had to write this, for me there were never enough moments between Garrus and Shepard so I decided I had to write a Fanfic to include some of my own. It' set after the end of ME2, I actually haven't finished the game (got distracted by Uncharted 3 and ME3) and haven't read Arrival, so sorry for any inaccuracies with the timeline or whatever. I'm not gonna promise to update every week or whatever, I'll update when I can. Hope you enjoy reading this a much as I enjoyed writing it. Oh and the song lyrics are from a song called May I by Trading Yesterday. Oh and all the characters and that belong to Bioware. Right that's everything. Enjoy! **

In the end it didn't matter, everything she'd done for them, the horrible decisions she had to make, the friends she'd lost. She was nothing more than a war criminal to them despite the fact that they all owed her their lives a hundred times over. Shepard sighed with the voice of someone was too tired to carry on. She clutched the datapad and reread the message.

_This is an official order by the Council for the arrest of war criminal Commander Jane Shepard for the crimes of destroying the Bahak system and the murder of over 300,000 Batarian colonists. The guilty party will have 14 days to return her crew to their homeworlds or another suitable location and come to the Citadel to await trial, should the guilty party decide to disobey these rules she will be arrested by force and anyone who assisted her will be placed on trial for association with war criminals. _

If she went to the trial alone it would be her word against everyone else's but if she took any crew member to speak for her there would be no doubt in the fact that they would be thought of as guilty as her. Garrus would want to come and speak on her behalf, of course. He wasn't the kind of guy to sit around while his 'mate' was convicted of intergalactic treason. Since they had spent the night together 'blowing off stream' they had grown closer and closer. He was so protective over her and she couldn't quite decide whether she liked it or not, it wasn't that he thought she _needed _protecting, it was just his Turian instincts. Not that any of that mattered now, the thought of leaving the love of her life and travelling to a place hundreds of light years away, to await a trial in which she had no chance, nearly brought her to tears. She knew she had to be strong.

She dropped the datapad onto the bed covers and rested her head in her hands. She heard the door open and didn't even have to look up to know it was Garrus. He sat down on the edge of the bed and sensing that she was deep in thought said nothing. She breathed in his typically Turian smell, which to her smelt like a cross between the neroli oil her mother used to burn and the pine trees back on earth. It was surprisingly calming.

She breathed in once again and a wave of nausea suddenly overcame her she raised her hand to cover her mouth, and sprinted to the sink and was just in time to throw up neatly into it. Garrus, as protective as ever, rushed to her side "Jane" he said tenderly his normally non-expressive face streaked with worry. He reached out his arms around her tiny frame, she felt so small and weak, pale and shaking in his arms. She excused herself from the embrace and splashed some water on her face and she stood for a second just staring at the wall. Garrus reached out a talon and gently turned her round to face him, until they stood face to face. She leaned forward placing her forehead against his, an ancient Turian sign of love and comfort. There they stood, Turian and Human, completely and utterly in love. Shepard couldn't help it, every angry, grief filled tear she had been holding in poured down her cheeks.

Garrus pulled away from her. "Jane" he said again "Tell me what's wrong". Still shaking she walked over to the bed and picked up the datapad and handed it to him. She sat down on the bed and watched the look of shock forming on his face as he read the message. "The bastards!" he couldn't stop himself from shouting out, it was so unfair. He looked to her the anger in his eyes changing to sadness as he realised what this would mean for them. Silently he walked over and sat beside her, pulling her close as she sobbed onto his shoulder. "Why me? Don't I deserve to be happy? After all I've done? Why do they want to tear us apart?" She said between sobs gripping onto his armour even tighter. He held her like a child, rocking her gently and her purring quietly to calm her, until she fell asleep in his arms.

_And there you stand opened heart-opened doors  
full of life with the world that's wanting more.  
But I can see when the lights start to fade,  
the day is done and your smile has gone away._

Let me raise you up.  
Let me be your love.

May I hold you  
as you fall to sleep,  
when the world is closing in  
and you can't breathe.  
May I love you.  
May I be your shield.  
When no one can be found  
may I lay you down.

All I want is to keep you safe from the cold...  
to give you all that your heart needs the most.

Let me raise you up  
Let me be your love


	2. You don't always have to be so brave

**Found this chapter rather hard to write, my mind kept thinking about how the story was gonna go from here and kept getting distracted :S Not really sure if the comedy parts work, wasn't sure if they ruined the mood or whatever. But there' bound to be a least one more in the next chapter since it involves Joker. Please review and I'm open to any improvements. As always Bioware own everything. Thanks and enjoy. **

The first thing Garrus noticed when he woke up was odd emptiness of his arms, it took a few moments for the fogginess of sleep to fade before he remembered.

"Jane" he said suddenly, sitting bolt upright and glancing in panic around the room. Why was he never the first to wake up?

Shepard sat on the floor in the bathroom; her back leaned against the cool metal wall. She had been up for at least a couple of hours feeling nauseas and tired. Tiredness was not a feeling that was uncommon for her, nightmares often plagued her mind while she slept. She usually woke up feeling as exhausted as when she'd gone to sleep. If it wasn't for adrenaline she'd probably fall asleep in the middle of a battle. The thought of this amused her and a smile crept onto her face, she could picture Garrus carrying her in one arm and 'blasting the collectors to hell' with his other. The nausea however was less common, she only hoped it would go away soon, throwing up in the middle of a trial wasn't going to do her case any favours, she knew that much.

Eventually she decided it was time to go and wake up her Turian lover. She knew he suffered as much as she did from lack of sleep, often working through the night, but this was one of her last days with him and she was determined to make the most of it.

Slowly she got to her feet. When she was standing she looked over at herself in the mirror and sighed deeply. Her short red hair was sticking up awkwardly thanks to all the tossing turning that came as an added extra with the nightmares and her green eyes were rimmed with smudged make up. She quickly washed her face and made a feeble attempt at flattening down her hair before quickly pulling on her day clothes and walking back into the main room.

The sight that greeted her was so strange it was almost comical; a worried looking Turian seated in the middle of a mass of tangled bed sheets, dressed in full armour. Garrus looked up at her and all feelings of laughter she felt faded. The once bright look in his ice blue eyes was gone, replaced by a hopeless sadness. She took a deep breath and spoke softly

"How do I tell them?"

Garrus knew what she was talking about instantly; knowing neither of them had thought of anything else all night. He had to put on a brave face for her, just like she did for everyone else every day. She thought no one could see through her tough exterior, through the jokes she made to avoid any serious subject matter. But he could, he saw the emptiness in her eyes every time there was an unnecessary death, whether they were on their side or not. She was a woman haunted by past choices, wrong decisions made and the weight of many lives on her shoulders. He wanted to grab her by the shoulders and scream

"You don't always have to be so brave!" but he knew she wouldn't listen, she wasn't the person she was because she wanted to be, she was the person she was because she had to be.

"I could speak to them, if you like" he said, already thinking, trying to find the words to use to explain to a crew that their commanding officer was now thought of as a war criminal. He watched her face intently as she considered his statement, her trained military mind involuntarily running through the risks assessment and the odds of success. Finally a look of calm acceptance overcame her face.

"I have to tell them myself" she said turning away and walking straight for the door without another word to him.

"EDI" she said "Tell the crew I'm holding a meeting in the CIC" and then under her breath "It's just about the only place left on this damn ship that hasn't been blasted to bits"

And with that she was gone, the gentle, innocent woman that had cried herself to sleep in his arms immediately replaced by the fiery, brave faced commander they all knew.


	3. That's an order

**Yeah, another chapter again had a real dilemma deciding whether to include the jokey part with Joker or not. This chapter seems to contain more speech by Tali than the other characters. No idea why…just find her easier to write I guess. Please review, I'd love to hear what you think and as before any suggestions for improvements are very welcome. Enjoy **

Shepard looked at her crew, the odd bunch of misfits pulled from every corner of the universe haphazardly thrown together and forced to cooperate under her command. Watching them she felt like a teacher who had finally gotten all her class to settle down and stop fighting each other, well nearly all of them. It was glaringly obvious that Jack had deliberately positioned herself as far away from Miranda as possible. At least they were now able to be in he same room without killing each other. Once again the great Commander Shepard had achieved the impossible.

She turned her attention to the other faces in the room, someone was missing.

"Where's Joker?" she said.

"Here Commander" he called loudly from his pilots chair at the other end of the room. She turned to Garrus with a mischievous sparkle in her eye and said (just loud enough for Joker to hear)

"Couldn't even be bothered to get up"

On hearing this Joker pulled a face of mock hurt before replying "Aw, come on Commander you know the rules, a pilot never leaves the bridge" She smiled as the perfect comeback formed in her mind.

"Except to shoot at Collectors?"

Joker smirked before beginning to incoherently babble his attempt at a comeback "Yeah...well…I…" his feeble attempts were interrupted by an impatient Tali addressing the Commander

"Ignore him" she said, throwing what Shepard assumed was a reprimanding look at Joker, (she couldn't tell through the mask). "You had something to tell us Commander?"

The smile slipped from Shepard's face. She took a deep breath and looked briefly to Garrus who gave her a look of encouragement.

"Ok" she said under her breath before raising her voice to address the gathered collective

"Yesterday I received and email from the council" she stopped and composed herself before continuing "I am to report to the Citadel as soon as possible to be tried for war crimes" this statement was met by a buzz of noise and angry shouts from crew members

"The Bosh'tet's" Tali exclaimed loudly just as a heavy silence fell over the room.

Shepard stood still, unable to think, her ability to piece together words to make a sentence completely gone. The entire crew were frozen, suspended by shock. Grunt was first to speak, his deep Krogan voice forcefully driving away the silence

"But Battlemaster, you stopped the collectors" Shepard looked down at the young tank born Krogan who she now thought of as a son, desperately searching for the words to explain to him.

Realising Shepard was struggling Dr. Chakwas stepped forward and cautiously placed a hand on the back of Grunts armour. When she spoke it was as if she was speaking to a small child "If the council have commanded it Grunt, then the Commander has no choice"

"But she is Battlemaster" he said his head drooping sadly, admitting defeat.

Tali spoke next

"Surely we could help" she said nodding encouragingly at Shepard "I could speak for you at your trial as you did for me, I mean if you like" She lowered her head "I don't think I'd speak as well as you did but…" Tali tailed off and eventually silence fell once again.

It broke Shepard's heart to see how willing all her crew were to help her, knowing there was nothing they do.

"No one is to try to help me in any way, no heroics and no secret plans, understood?" This comment received another wave of angry noise which Shepard proceeded to interrupt

"And that's an order, anybody found disobeying will be severely punished" and with that she turned her back on them and entered the elevator.

She hated giving such powerful orders, of course she ordered people to do things all the time, she wouldn't carry the title of Commander if she didn't, it's just all of her crew knew her orders could be occasionally disobeyed if it meant doing the right thing. She had tried to make it as clear as possible that this didn't apply to this order. She had wanted so desperately to tell them that she was doing it to protect them but didn't have the words. She hoped they all knew her well enough to realise that she wouldn't do this without good reason. Heck, if being accused of war crimes wasn't a good enough reason, she didn't know what was.


	4. Sunfish

Authors Note: I can't apologise enough, it's been months since an update. What can I say? Severe writers block and fighting Reapers. Sorry. Anything you recognise belongs to Bioware.

He'd never known her to give into something so willing before (including his romantic advances). He knew that without any of her crew to speak for she would lose her case. It made him so angry. She had such little disregard for her own safety and such high regard for others.

Garrus turned and quickly tapped out a programming command on the console before continuing to pace back and forth along the length of the small space. He'd been down in main battery for at least two hours, thinking deeply, worrying and then worrying if he was thinking too deeply. He'd decalibrated and recalibrated the main gun multiple times but he still wasn't feeling any calmer.

He decided there was only one way to set his mind at rest.

She lay on her back watching the Asari sunfish calmly swim around in the non-broken half of the fish tank. "What do I do? She questioned them. She looked up at the fish's blank expression and shook her head. Great, now she was talking to some fish. She was officially insane. She stopped an idea forming in her mind; maybe she could plead insanity as an excuse at her trial? Shaking her head again she dismissed the idea, they probably had medical tests for that sort of thing and being called a liar as well as terrorist wasn't going to help her.

She was about to get up when she heard movement outside the door. Panicking she grabbed the assault rifle she always kept beside her bed and aimed it at the door.

She breathed a sigh of relief upon discovering it was Garrus. He observed the scene the confusion on his face quickly morphing into a playful smirk. He tilted his head to the side and said

"Is the gun really necessary Shepard? As far as we know you've wiped out all immediate threats to the safety of the universe"

"Can never be too careful when you've got Turians walking round your ship" She replied, returning his playful banter. She flattened he bedcover beside her, a subtle indication for him to join her. He calmly walked over and sat beside her.

"How are you holding up?" he said "And I mean honestly Shepard, none of this being strong for other nonsense, trust me we've been there and..." He stopped as he felt her fingers brush his. He gently caressed her hand and raised it to his cheek holding it lovingly against his one functioning mandible. She ran her thumb down his cheek bone, before dropping her hand and gazing sadly at the floor.

"Hey" he said "It's only a trial, spirits, you're the great Commander Shepard, Savoir of the Citadel and Defeater of the collectors!" She smiled; he knew she hated the ridiculous title's that had befallen her. He loved it when she smiled, a real smile, not the fake diplomatic one that never reached her eyes, a real one. If only she smiled more often.

His eyes fell to the mandible inflicted scar on her pale neck, she was his, she wore his mark and with it his promise of protection and love. He had to help her. He had no idea how, but he was sure that if they talked through it they would come up with a plan, just like they always did.

"Shepard" She looked up at him, green eyes focused on his "I think there's a way we can…" Something flickered in her eyes, a darkness clouded them. Sadness? No…Anger.

She stood up and shouted.

"No! There is no we in this Garrus only me, only me" There was an intensity in her expression that Garrus had never seen before. Upon realising how he statement sounded her anger faded to frustration. "Look…Garrus...I"

This time it his turn to interrupt her. His tone was calm and forceful and bubbled with an undercurrent of anger.

"Listen Shepard, You were taken away from me before and I swear, never again, it's about time you let someone else put their life in danger for you for once"

She wanted to scream. He was so stupid! People had died for her before, her family, her team on Akuze, Ash; they had all followed her to their deaths. She was not going to let him do the same.

She was so angry. Fire burned in every part of her. Garrus sensed this and stood up. He and reached out a talon towards her but before he could touch her. She threw a punch at him. Garrus watched her and knew that this wasn't just one of their playful sparring matches. She was serious. She stood; both fists raised looking at him like he was no better than a reaper. That hurt. He moved across the room, his fists also raised but in defence, knowing he could never hurt her. It angered her more when she realised he wasn't even going to fight her properly. She aimed another punch at him, but he ducked swiftly and hit the fish tank instead. She swore as the glass smashed and the water began to flow out onto the floor. She clenched her bloodied fist and winced as she felt the sting of the glass that was embedded in it.

"I'm going to the med bay" She said, she didn't really need it, it would be fine with some medigel but she just had to get away.

Garrus watched her leave. He froze his gaze on the door jut in case she decided to come back. She didn't. He looked down at the pool of water around his feet and saw a glint of yellow and purple beneath the shards of glass. He carefully reached down and picked up the object. It was q sunfish. He held it gently, its tiny body fitting perfectly in one of his talons. Then he realised that it was the only survivor. Just like Shepard. He placed it back in what was left of the tank and left the room.

Authors Note: Sorry once again and please please review. This is my first big piece of witting during my recovery from my block and I'd really like to know if it's any good. Or not. As always be honest.

Ta and a thousand apologies

Jane x


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